Running out of Dollars, if you chance to find
Loads of little loosers, all full of brandy-wine,
Don't you shout to wake and work, nor use 'em in your play
Throw this deadwood down the street, down the shelter's line.
Five and twenty brokers
Trading in the dark
Nairas for the Negro
Sacking for the Clerk,
Junkbonds for a merger, and fools for a Euro.

If you see a margin, selling open wide;
If you see a tired old stock, trading on inside,
If your man amends a trade, closed and really died
If your Barings have worn out - don't you ask no more.

If you meet Commission's men, dressed in blue pinstripe,
You be careful what you say to them, and mindful of their hype.
If they ask what you done made and cheques from off the floor,
You don't tell what no-one bought, nor what they bought it for.
Five and twenty brokers
Trading in the dark
Nairas for the Negro
Sacking for the Clerk,
Junkbonds for a merger, and fools for a Euro.

Looking for some realty, but all you've got is Rand?
Then come on down to Hambro's place and join the happy band!
Bunkers for Iraqis, built on solid sand.
What's that funny mustard smell? And why are they all tanned?
Five and twenty brokers
Trading in the dark
Nairas for the Negro
Sacking for the Clerk,
Junkbonds for a merger, and fools for a Euro.

Taps and footsteps in the House - a whistleblower narc,
You've no calls on Microsoft until the House-dogs bark.
Milken's in, and so's Greenspan, and see how dumb they lie -
They don't fret to follow when the SEC goes by!
Five and twenty brokers
Trading in the dark
Nairas for the Negro
Sacking for the Clerk,
Junkbonds for a merger, fools for a Euro.

If you do what you've been told, likely there's a chance,
You'll be give a tidy sum and tickets for Air France,
Or else a cap on losses and some shiny steel bracelets
A present from the SEC, along o' being good!
Five and twenty brokers
Trading in the dark
Nairas for the Negro
Sacking for the Clerk
Junkbonds for a merger, fools for a Euro.
Them that asks no questions isn't told a lie -
So watch the Wall Street Journal, boys, as dealer men go "BUY"