5 out of 10
 

Yet Another Vampire Slayer Flick

For a corporation based on comic books, the ubiquitous Marvel might have been expected to come up with something special for their third outing for Blade, the half-undead vampire-slaying hero. Sadly, no, and Director David S Goyer has been left trying to do a poor remake of Blade I,
padded out with material which was clearly sourced from an entirely different vampire story about some comic geeks taking on the vampire establishment. Here, Trinity refers not just to the fact that this is the third of a series that should not even made it to the big screen on the first attempt, but also to wisecracking Drake (Dominic Purcell) and Abigail Whistler (Jennifer Biels) with exploding arrows who team up with him. (Indeed, with closeup shots of Biel`s feet that are the size of phone directories, I`m surprised they didn`t call it "Blade Five".)

So badly are the two portions of script welded together, that the brooding Blade and the wisecracking techies that Snipes is sometimes literally knocked back on his heels by the barrage of cheap gags and clearly has as much idea of how to play comedy as Purcell has of being an action hero.
Although Parker Posey magnificantly reprises her role from "Josey and the Pussycats" as the evil bitch we`ve all met at some point, in this case Danica Talos, and gives some credibility to the flick, it cannot overcome the fact that little makes much sense: for instance, despite the heros having techies that develop technology and biowarfare to take on the undead, they never thought of installing a burgular alarm. Duh! Likewise, when her own father dies, Abigail who is supposed to be human, not undead,
has not the shadow of grief for him, and Blade shows he believes in truth, justice and the American way by mercilessly gunning down a surrendering Police Officer in the back.

With 25 stunt professionals on hand to give their all and CGI packing every frame, the action never stops. Sadly, there is an old rule in Hollywood that in an action film script, something has to explode every ten pages, leaving poor old Kris Kristofferson to have to blow himself up in his own
hideaway to fill an otherwise silent ten minute gap. What a pathetic end to such a once great acting career! Even so, it is the void in the middle where a plot should be leaves the well-finished product as nothing more than a polished veneer, never strong enough to support the characters.

Logic or not, the film moves inexorably through the exploding wreckage to the inevitable sword fight with people thrown through walls between Blade and yet another "mega-vampire". And is this demon scarey? He looks just like the sort of guy you`d expect to turn up to service a broken
dishwasher.

Blunt

Film Critic: - Robert L Thompsett