Ghost Ship

0 out of 10


Utter Filth

No porno, no trauma, no grief, no trajedy you have ever experienced can compare to this, nor can any words nor any counselling help prepare you for this: it is an obscene orgy of assault on senses and the rape of the brain of the viewer. I have been to many places and seen so many terrible things, but NOTHING is as shamefully disgusting as this wretched string of celluloid which seeks to challenge the deepest held libertarian beliefs in the need for a Press free from censorship.

Forget the figleaf storyline about some greedy salvage people finding an abandoned luxury liner, The Andrea Doria, drifting around the Baring Straits 40 years or so after she disappeared and the predictable gruesome deaths of each one of them. It`s all a front for a "flashback" that rapes the mind detailing in the most graphic manner possible, the raw attrocity of a savage mutiny: as the cooks poison the guests, the stewards decapitate their officers on the dance floor with a boobytrapped wire. They then herd the surviving passengers to swimming pool where they are massacred with machine guns while their children are taken back to their cabins to be hung in their wardrobes by coathangar wire as they scream for their freshly raped and throatslit mothers. After this, the stewards and the cooks hack each other to pieces with meat axes and knives.

It is not the brutality, but the treachery that really hits hardest: the whole concept of a horror film was that in the face of fear, couples will become closer, yet "Ghost Ship" undermines all of this, leaving you uncomfortable and mistrust in the back of your mind. In the midst of all this, the film company has also hired Italian porn star, Francesca Rettondini to wander around, regularly waving her oversized tits and big butt at the audience.

Unlike any other film, I have no hesitation whatsoever in revealing AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE of the story to spoil it for you to ensure as few people as possible can end up being victims of it. The salvage man who first alerts them to the location of the Andrea Doria is actual some dude who did a deal with the devil to lure as many people to Hell with a cargo of untraceable gold bullion in exchange for never aging or dying. He was the one who masterminded the original mutiny and sees off most of the cast this time. At the end, the Andrea Doria sinks leaving only the girl salvage operator to survive. As she is picked up and is taken off the rescuing ship she sees through the rear of the ambulance as its doors are being shut, the same guy getting back onto the rescuing ship with the wooden crates of gold to do it all you don`t have to see this filth - SO DON`T!

Don`t just ask for your money back, GET A LAWYER TO SUE FOR PSYCHIATRIC DAMAGE

Film Critic: Robert L Thompsett